Gina's Mock Cars Volume 3

Cadillac SRX
It's no secret that I'm a big Cadillac fan! I admire the various style themes they've had over the years: from the overstyled fins in the 50s and 60s to the super square luxo-barges of the 70s and 80s all the way to the "Art & Science examples we have today. Regardless of how little substance they actually offer their style does it for me every time. This however is their other mongrel. Proof that even Cadillac is able to get the SUV wrong. Proof that bigger is not always better. Proof that no matter how trendy the SUV might've been at the time, if it ain't attractive, it ain't gonna sell.

Dacia Cristal
The fact that it's a Dacia alone screams mock! To mock things up even further it was manufactured in Blackheath (Cape Town) for a little while. The best way to get this thing to exceed 100 km/h was to drive it off a cliff, you wouldn't survive but anyone who bought it was probably suicidal anyway.


Toyota Mega Cruiser
Even the gayest man on earth would call it over the top! I once had the privilege of driving one and it was like driving a wider, longer and higher (I'm trying to understate things here) Corolla (+1). It has amazing 4x4 ability (+1). It's gigantic (+and-1) and it has bling potential for days, even if it is a Toyota. Then I hooted and it went 'peep' instead of 'BAAARRP!' That's like a woman the size of Aretha singing with a voice the size of Victoria Beckham's. Fail.

Nissan Micra (Previous Generation)
I wasn't going to include this car until some guy nearly knocked me over with it a couple of days ago. The mist was thick, the car was silver and the headlights weren't turned on = micrisible (invisible Micra). Innocent me was trying to cross a pretty busy road and when I thought it was safe to do so this horrid round "automobile" hooted at me and I had to dive for my life. Had that Micra hit me I would've died (from embarrassment) on purpose just so that the driver/menace to society could be charged with culpable homicide. Nissan's version of the new Beetle wasn't exactly popular or practical and thank goodness it's been replaced by a toned down (in terms of styling) model which makes do without that awful Micra language.

Mock Cars Tally
BMW - 1
Cadillac - 2
Dacia - 1
Daewoo - 1
Daihatsu - 1
Kia - 1
Mazda - 1
Mercedes-Benz - 1
Nissan - 2
Toyota - 1